Resolve
by Jesna22
Summary: Rey goes to the medical bay thinking she has a stomach bug, and gets some unexpected news.
1. Let Me

She'd retired to her quarters to fall apart in peace, barely holding it together long enough to make it to her door and slip inside.

She leaned against the cool metal, feeling the click as it closed, and slid down, puling her knees to her chest, her eyes unblinking as fat tears streaked silently down her face.

"Rey?!"

She heard Ben's voice and looked up to find him standing feet from her, worry etched in his russet brown eyes.

"What's happened?" He demanded.

She'd kept her shield up all morning, snapped in place as she felt him drag against it, and only let it drop when she heard the door click closed.

And he'd came. Dropping everything, possibly in mid-sentence with some First Order higher-up, as soon as he flet her distress.

As he always had.

When she just stared at him in silence, she felt him searching her memories.

The medical Bay, the tests, the Doctor, sitting on the other side of her metal desk, folding her hands together before she gave Rey the results.

"I'm pregnant." She told him before her memories could.

He retracted from her mind instantly, his heart stuttering to a stop.

His gaze fell as he tried to do the math in his head. They had been physically intimate a handful of times when they were both able to slip away unnoticed. Their coupling was more frequent through the Force.

 _Someone else._ His insecurtities screamed at him. _She's found someone here. Someone better. The pilot, Dameron. Or FN-2187._

"No." Rey whispered, fresh tears sliding down her face as he realized she'd heard every word.

She sent memories down the Bond, filling his head with flashes of their time together. His lips on her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. His ungloved hands caressing her thighs with a featherlight touch as they cradled him between them. The tears that rimmed his eyes the last time she'd had to leave him. The nights they'd connected with The Force since then, and the deep, bone ache that his absence brought her. The vertigo if she stood up too quickly. Dameron bringing her a stack of pancakes dripping with syrup in the mess hall, the smell making her stomach churn. A waste basket she wretched bile into, the only thing her empty stomach had to give.

'Stomach bug.' She'd told him. He'd sensed it, through the Bond, and showed up just in time to pull her hair back from her face as she vomited again and again. He'd tucked her into her bed, making her promise to go to medical bay if it wasn't gone in a fortnight.

And, this morning, the doctor giving her the news as if it wasn't a cataclysmic, life altering event. "Pregnant." She'd said, happily. "I'd say five weeks based on your last bleeding."

"There's no one else." Rey said, bringing him back to the present.

If there's no one else, that means...His already pasty face turned grey as the blood drained from it.

"It's yours." She finished for him, out loud.

He stumbled back, panting as everything he was feeling tumbled into her through the Bond.

Worry. Excitement. Joy. Terror.

Sheer, debilitating terror. But, not for himself. For her. For the child they now knew she carried.

Wonder. Love. Self-doubt.

 _Father_.

The last moments he'd shared with his own father flashed in his mind and he covered his mouth with the back of his gloved hand, the memory making him double over with guilt so monumental it burned, seared his very soul.

Rey flinched as the pain hit her through the Bond.

She wanted to go to him, but she was rooted to the floor, her limbs not moving as she willed them.

 _Monster. Murderer._ _You'll destroy them, too, and you'll be alone again._ The darkness swirled around him as his insecurities filled his mind.

Rey closed her eyes and projected her light toward him.

They both saw flashes of a future. Their future.

Ben leaning down to press a tender kiss on her swollen belly. Rey, frowning at her reflection, as he came behind her, wrapping his strong arms around her middle and whispering "You're so beautiful" in her ear. Rey, skin yellowed and hair plastered to her sweaty forehead, gripping Ben's ungloved hand as she labored. His face, his eyes wild with worry, did not match the soothing words of encouragement he muttered to her. The tears that freely fell down his face, sobs erupting from his chest as the doctor handed him a bloody newborn, shrieking in healthy protest at the world it had just been brought into.

They gasped in unison, their eyes meeting as a single tear rolled down to Ben's chin and fell.

He crossed the room in two strides and hoisted Rey up, into his arms, burying his face into her hair, clutching her to him desperately.

"I want it." He choked. "I want it all."

And Force help her, she wanted it too.

She laid her head in his broad shoulder, her bottom lip quivering, her tears soaking the black fabric of his tunic. "What are we gonna do?" She asked.

He pulled away to look at her. "Come live with me." He suggested.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I'll tell them," He searched for the right words. "I'll tell them anything." He said with a sigh. She stared at him wearily as he rambled on, "The Ship has a better medical staff, and better food, and I have enough credits to get you anything you'll ever need and the ship has-"

"Ten thousand Storm Troopers." She pointed out, cutting him off.

His face fell.

He reached up, and bit the tip of the leather glove that covered his middle finger, and dragged his hand out, freeing it to touch her face. He reached up with his other hand to grab the glove.

"Rey, please." He begged, stroking her face with his thumb. "Let me be here for this." His throat bobbed at he swallowed. "Really be there."

Her conviction melted.

She gritted her teeth together. "Fine!" She said through them.

He signed in relief and smiled, moving to kiss her.

"But!" She snapped, holding a finger up to stop him. " _You_ have to tell your mother." And slipped out of his embrace.

He watched her blankly as she opened her chamber door and stepped outside, closing it soundly behind her, leaving him in her room, holding his glove, his shoulders hunched, and his arms in the same position she left them.

" _Wait-what?_!" He called in panic.


	2. Back to Back

He felt the tug of the Bond as Rey walked down the corridor to stand in front of a large metal door.

"I need to see the General, immediately." She told the Guard stationed in front of it. "It's urgent."

 _Wait, we're doing this now_? Ben asked.

 _Now or never._

Ben gritted his teeth together and crossed his arms over his chest. He was Supreme Leader, the most powerful man in the universe and this woman thought that she could just summon him like some mongrel on a leash? He wasn't going anywhere, and he certainly was not going to speak with his mother.

Rey tugged on the Bond again with enough force that his body lerched forward and he had to take a step to keep from toppling over.

He flet her snicker through the Bond.

 _It's not funny._ He growled.

 _It's a little funny._ She smiled, her dimples creasing her cheeks.

The heavy door was opened for her. _Are you coming?_

 _No_! His mind yelled to hers.

She sent a memory down the Bond in response, replaying the moment they'd just shared and Ben saw himself as she'd seen him, with so much love pouring out of him and his russet eyes pleading desperately.

"FINE!"

His surrender shook the Bond, and he swung her door open, ducking as he stepped into the corridor so he wouldn't hit his forehead on the door frame. He stormed to the end of the hall, pulling his glove on, ignoring shocked gasps and yells of warning from onlookers.

He waved his hand when the Guard at his mothers door stepped in front of him and the man went flying, hitting a nearby wall with a thud.

 _Was that really necessary_? Rey asked and he tried his best to send a menacing look through the Bond, earning him a laugh for his trouble.

Rey stepped into Leia's chambers and the General looked up, concern etched into her sad, brown eyes.

"Rey?" Leia asked. "What's-" Her face lost it's color when Ben stalked into the room.

 _Took you long enough._ Rey chided and he shot her a look that had made grown men cower to him. Rey pursed her lips to keep from smiling.

"Ben?" Leia breathed. "Is it really you?"

Ben thought for a moment. "Technically, no." He answered, honestly.

Leia's eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

The back door to Leia's chambers burst open. "Leia!" Poe yelled, running in. "Kylo Ren is-" He skidded to a stop as the three of them stared at him. "Is in this very room." He finished, deflated.

Ben sneered at him and Poe went for his blaster. Rey lifted her hand, pulling the weapon out of his grasp and tossing it, harmlessly, to the other side of the room.

"Not so tough without your gun." Ben snarled.

Poe lifted his arms in invitation "Come see how tough I am, Bennie Boy."

Ben growled and took a step forward, but Rey put a hand on his chest and held him back.

"Poe," She warned. "The General and I are in no danger."

Poe shot her a doubting look.

"Ben and I need to talk to Leia." She told him, voice low. "And it does not concern you."

Poe looked at Leia who nodded in dismisal. He swallowed, looking at Ben, then to Rey, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Ben was seething darkness laced with rage and jealousy.

Rey moved through the Bond, soothing his raw edges with her light and reminded him why they were here.

 _The Baby_.

He sighed. "Something has happened." He said to his mother.

"How are you here?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Rey and I are Force Bonded. We're mated, it made the Bond stronger. We're able to move through it, to get to the other. You see me, you can touch me, feel me, but I'm on my ship."

Leia looked him over, and her gaze slipped to Rey. "You're mated?"

Rey felt a blush flood her cheeks. She nodded. not trusting her voice if she spoke.

"What's happened?" Leia asked, her gaze going back to her son.

Ben looked down at the ground, not knowing how to tell her, and Rey gave him a gentle nudge through the Bond.

"Rey's pregnant." He blurted. His mothers eyes grew wide and she looked to Rey.

"By me." He added, after a long, awkward moment of silence.

"Through the Force?" Leia asked. She'd heard stories of her father, being concieved by the Force by a Sith Lord who could create life.

"Um..." Ben stammered. "No, by...well, we..." He blushed, the tops of his ears turning pink.

"I see." Leia said, her chair creaking as she sat back.

"I've asked her to come live with me, and she's agreed." He blew breath out. This was exactly as difficult as he knew it was going to be.

Leia looked to Rey. "Is this true?" She asked.

The younger woman nodded. "Yes."

Leia's eyes lingered in Rey's belly as she processed what she'd been told, then flickered up to her son. "Ben." she said, and Rey had never heard her voice so soft. "Think about this."

Rey felt Ben tense through the Bond.

"A First Order ship?" Leia continued. "There's not one being on the vessel who doesn't know who Rey is or what she's capable of. And if they find out you're mated, or that the child she's carrying is yours, it'll paint an even bigger target on her back."

His fists clinched at his sides, the leather of his gloves straining. "I'll do whtever I have to do to keep her safe." He swore, the intensity radiating through the Bond.

Leia leaned forward. "Yes, you would." She agreed, after studying him for a moment. "I see it. Something in you I feared I'd never see. You love her. More than you thought possible."

Ben's voice cracked when he said "Yes."

"And any one of your enemies will exploit that to see you fall."

"They can try." Ben growled. Rey felt his anger and tried to reign it in but he shook her off.

"Do you want me to stay away from her?" He demanded. "Is that it?"

 _She does_. His insecurities whispered. _She thinks you won't protect them._

Leia looked up at him with the stone cold patience that only a mother could have. "Of course not." She said.

Ben sneered, not believing her.

"Ben." She called, locking his gaze when he looked up. "Of course not. But think." She begged. "Think of her. Of your child. "

" I am." He growled, the Darkness in him simmering to a boil.

"What are you suggesting?" Rey cut in before Ben's explosive temper could get the better of him.

Ben relaxed a bit at her side.

Leia took a breath. "My birth mother was Queen of Naboo. Her estate belongs to me, now." She showed her palms to them as she offered. "Go there. Raise your baby away from this war."

 _Have you been there?_ Rey asked.

 _Yes_. He sent his memories to her through the Bond. The gardens, the lake, a balcony overlooking the grounds.

"I can arrange transport." Leia went on. "And ensure Rey's safe arrival on Naboo, where she can wait for you to get your affairs in order."

 _Away from the Resistance._ He thought.

 _Away from the First Order._

 _Away from_ me. He pointed out.

 _But, not for long._. She reasoned.

 _I don't like the idea of you being there without protection._

 _Since when have I needed protection_? She countered.

 _As much as I hate to admit it, my mother is right._ He frowned. _The baby will make us vulnerable. And anyone who finds out it's mine, or what you are to me will use it agaisnt me._

 _All the more reason to keep me as far away from that ship as possible._

He sighed in defeat. _Alright, I can't fight both of you._

He met his mother's gaze. "Naboo it is."

She nodded once. "I'll make the arrangements."

"Thank you, mother."

"Ben." She signed, water misting her eyes. "I love you. I always have. And when this child is born, you'll finally understand what I've felt for you all these years."

 _She still loves me after all I've done? After everything I've taken from her?_

 _Yes, she does._ Rey smiled up at him. _And, so do I._


	3. Brandy

A knock at his door brought his attention back to his ship. He looked to his right, at his door that Rey and Leia couldn't see.

"I have to go." He whispered.

Rey frowned as he stepped closer and kissed her temple. _I love you_. He told her through The Bond and then he was gone.

Leia stared, her mouth agape, at the place where her son was just standing. "Where did he go?" She breathed.

"Back to his ship." Rey told her. If she was being honest, she hated when he had to leave. Hated being away from him more than she cared to admit.

Leia looked at her with knowing eyes. "I used to look like that when Han went on smuggling trips." She motioned to the chair next to her and Rey sat down. "Tell me everything." Leia begged, taking Rey's hands in her own.

And she did. Rey told her about Snoke connecting their minds. About the first time they'd touched hands in her hut on Ahch-To. About the night she learned the truth about what made Ben turn. She told her about Ben killing Snoke when he'd been ordered to kill her and how they fought back to back, killing every Praetorian Guard. Then, after, Ben extended a gloved hand and begged, literally begged her to join him. Not serve him, not work for him, but rule by his side.

 _As my Queen._ He interjected and Rey blushed as she remembered she's left her thoughts exposed and hoisted her shields in place.

"And then?" Leia prompted when Rey trailed off.

"And then..." Rey went on. "I thought that the Bond would go away after Snoke was killed but it didn't. At first, we couldn't control it. I would look up and he'd be there." She purposfully left out the detail that they'd caught each other at awkward times.

She'd heard a shower running and looked up, to find Ben standing with water cascading onto his nude form. His eyes had been closed, his hair flat agaisnt his head, his face, his neck, and the broad curve of his shoulders. He'd reached up, his muscles rippling under his skin and slicked his hair back out of his face, tilting his head back, leaving him entirely exposed to her.

She'd never seen a naked man and her eyes drank the sight in thirstily.The water streamed down the ridges of his chest, his stomach, to the black patch of curls between his toned thighs.

She'd gasped and his head snapped up, his eyes flying open and instantly meeting hers. She'd had time to apologize before the bond closed.

"Then." Rey continued. "I started to feel him." She brought a hand up to tap her temple. "I started to feel if he was hurt or alone or scared, and I could follow the Bond to him."

She'd been woken in the dead of night, dampened with sweat and panting, with so much fear and guilt trembling the Bond she stepped through immediately, finding him asleep in his bed. His head moved from side to side and his sheets hissed as his legs moved restlessly beneath them. Rey stepped forward and saw that his bare chest was sheen with sweat. Darkness swirled around him like a thick cloud of smoke.

She'd felt it, it's power calling her seductively. She'd moved closer to Ben but the air was thinker, making it harder to move, to breathe, to think, and she was thrown, unwittingly, into his nightmare of the last night he'd seen his father. The red of his lightsaber casting an eerie glow on Han's face.

That had been the first time she used her light on him, as the Darkness threatened to swallow them both.

He'd bolted upright as soon as her light hit him and looked up, pouring every ounce of his dispair into her through the Bond. "Rey?" He called, his eyes filling with tears. His face distorted. "I killed him." He choked, his voice breaking as a heartwreching sob ripped it's way out of his chest.

She'd gone to him, his arms going around her waist and his tears soaking the thread-bare fabric of her nightdress as he sobbed into her stomach, clutching her to him as if his life depended on it.

It was after that night that they knew they could no longer ignore the Bond and agreed to meet in person to try and find out what it meant.

That meeting had not gone as planned as they had crashed into each other as soon as their eyes met in a fury of pants and moans and kisses as they tore the clothing off the other. Dispite the intensity, and the Force driven need of their love making that night, it had been Rey's first and Ben had been remarkibly tender, doing everything he could to ensure she'd felt as little discomfort as possible.

She felt Ben rub agasint her shields and let him in. _Listen to your heart race_. He teased. _Could you keep your arousal out of the Bond, please? It's hard to command an army when_ I'm _the one at attention._

She smiled wide and shoved him out, hearing him laugh once.

"After we sealed the Bond." Rey said, trying to put it as delicately as possible. "I could hear him. Hear his thoughts as if they were my own. We've had to build shields in our minds to give ourselves some privacy but even when they're up, I can't hear him, or see him, but I can still feel him. Still sense what he's feeling. Like he's holding the other end of a rope that's tethered to me."

"Eariler, when you smiled." Leia asked. "Was that him?"

Rey nodded, a delicate blush tinting her cheeks.

Leia watched her, her eyes, the eyes she'd so generously given Ben, filling with tears. She covered her face with her hand. "I'd given up hope." She confessed. "I thought my son was gone. That Kylo Ren had killed him and stolen the face I can't help but love more than I love myself." She looked up, her cheeks glistening, and took Reys face in her hands. "But you. You've brought him back." Leia let go of her face and pulled her into a hug. "I can never thank you enough."


	4. What It Is

Armitage Hux may not have been gifted with The Force as the newly appointed Supreme Leader was. He couldn't read or manipuate minds or assault people without touching them, but he hadn't gotten to where he was by being as dense as Ren believed.

Unlike Ren, who got to where he was by riding the coat tails of his grandfather and the obession Snoke had with him, Hux had built the First Order from the ashes of the Empire, and clawed his way to the rank of General. He'd earned that title of Supreme Leader, and yet, it had gone to Ren.

When Hux found him unconscience on Snoke's throne room floor, surrounded by ashes and gore, his first instint was to kill Ren where he lay. Ren had come to as soon as Hux touched the hilt of his blaster and nearly crushed Hux's larynx with The Force after claiming that the scavenger from Jakku had murdered Snoke.

Ren's first act as Supreme Leader was the Battle of Crait where they'd suffered a devestating loss, including several ships in their fleet, and spent half of their remaining ammunition on a ghost.

Ren had returned to his ship a broken man, and threw himself into finding Snokes murderer and the remaining rebels, storming around in his heavy boots demanding any news, but, then, after a month or so, he seemed to lose interest. He'd instructed them to abandon their efforts in finding her, and the resistance, claiming he no longer wanted to waste resources.

When Hux insisted that they proceed, Ren sent raiding parties to crumbling rebel bases, long abandoned, acting the part of Kylo Ren when they returned empty handed by flying into a tantrum.

But Hux saw it for what it was: an act.

Hux also saw that to make Ren's story plausible, the girl would have to had bested Ren, for the second time, and single handedly fight off eight Praetorian guards before killing Snoke. Yet, she'd spared Ren's life, also for the second time, before fleeing in Snoke's escape craft.

And absolutely none of that made any sense.

More concerning, was in these past months, Ren seemed to be completely disconnected, as if his mind was elsewhere. He would disappear for hours on end, emerging from his chambers or his throne room with no reason whatsoever for his absence. He'd missed nearly every meeting and briefing and hadn't shown any interest in ruling or being involved in the strategics of his army.

It should be Hux on that throne.

He'd have to find a way to kill him. Find a weakness and drive a dagger so deep into it that The Force couldn't save him.

Hux had found him in the snow on Starkiller Base with wounds that would have killed anyone else, leaving Hux to believe that Ren had somehow used The Force to keep himself alive.

The memory made Hux stop and think.

Starkiller base was the first time the scavenger bitch had bested Ren and spared his life but it was more than that.

Ren hadn't been the same since that fight, and Hux had always assumed it was because he was humiliated by being beaten by someone so completely inexperienced. But, Hux searched his memories. No, Ren started acting peculiar the second he'd carried that woman onto the ship. His mission had been to find the map the droid carried, but had abandoned his orders, saying she was all they needed.

Then, Hux wondered if Ren's change had nothing to do with the battle that was lost, or the humiliation on Starkiller Base, and everything to do with the scavenger. What if Ren wanted them to abandon their efforts in finding the Rebels because Snoke's killer was amoung them?

Hux felt his jaw go slack as he realized the only way anyone could have bested Kylo Ren was if he refused to fight them. Refused to protect Snoke as he'd sworn to do. And one person couldn't have taken out eight guards unless...

Unless he fought them with her.

And kept Hux and his army away from the rebels to protect her.

Hux smiled at himself.

He'd find that scavenger whore. And when he did, he'd bring Kylo Ren to his knees.


	5. Sink

***Author's Note***

 **Did someone ask for a longer chapter? Well, I'm nothing if not accommodating.**

 **But, I will warn you that this chapter has _a lot_ of graphic depictions of sickness. **

**Your discretion is advised.**

 **Also, so much love to you. I love you so much and you're beautiful and awesome. Yes, you reading this. I've gotten so much amazing feedback on this story that I write on breaks and lunches at work and it's so incredible. Thank you :)**

He'd never believed in hell.

To Ben, it was just a scary story parents told their kids to get them to eat their vegetables or do their chores.

But that week made him change his mind.

Before they'd found out about the baby, Rey was convinced she had a stomach bug, as one was rumored to be going around the base. She'd been sick for a few days, being able to keep nothing down but toast or bone broth.

Ben would take that now and be grateful.

The night after they'd told his mother, he'd fallen asleep on Rey's bed. That was nothing new, he often fell asleep with her, and always woke where ever his physical body was. Most of the time, it was his own chambers on his ship.

Hours later, the Bond tore him from his sleep. He looked around, taking a moment to recognize where he was, and felt the Bond be stretched, as if it were an elastic band, and pop back, snapping into him painfully.

He kicked off the covers and stood up, his head swimming, his stomach churning, and stepped through, finding Rey doubled over the toilet of her refresher, heaving.

He brushed his fingers against the sides of her face and pulled her hair back, holding it until her stomach emptied and his own guts settled.

"I'm sorry for waking you." She apologized.

He shook his head. "You didn't." The Bond called him, as it always did when she was sick.

She brushed her teeth and he tucked her back into bed, falling asleep with her in his arms.

Only to be woken in the same fashion a few hours later.

The next morning, his alarm clock woke him in his room, and he stepped through the Bond, finding Rey asleep on her side in her bed. She stirred when he kneeled down next to her, and smiled before opening her eyes.

"Hey." He said, brushing his knuckles across her cheek.

"Hey." She said back, opening her eyes and looking at him. She pulled a hand out from under her blankets to touch his face.

"Do I need to stay with you?" He kissed her palm.

She shook her head. "I'll have Rose bring me-" An image of toast flashed into her mind, and into his, and he felt her stomach flip through The Bond. She jumped up and raced to the refresher, retching for several minutes as he rubbed her back in small circles.

"Should you see the doctor?" He asked.

"I saw her yesterday." She reached up to flush.

"You weren't this sick yesterday." He pointed out.

"I asked her about how sick I was, and she said that it was normal. That it would pass."

But, it didn't.

He felt it.

Felt her core muscles grow sore from the constant strain, the burn in her chest and throat, the angry growl of her hungry stomach, even that making her vomit.

He'd never felt so helpless. She was exhausted, growing weaker with each passing hour.

Every time she fell asleep, he would return to his ship in an attempt to at least seem as if he were interested, but the Bond would tremble, calling him back.

And he went to her, wondering with his teeth clinched so tight that his jaw ached, how much longer he could watch her suffer.

He'd naively thought that things couldn't get worse on day three, when Rey was vomiting ten times a day, regardless of whether she tried to eat or not.

A knock sounded on her door and when Ben opened it, he looked down, to find a tiny woman standing in the hallway.

He recognized her from Rey's memories as a woman named Rose and let her in.

Rose went to Rey's side, sitting down next to her on the bed, and pulled a white bottle out of her satchel. "I told the doctor that you couldn't hold anything down and she suggested these." She uncapped the bottle and fished out a pill. "They will help."

Rey opened her mouth and Rose dropped the pill in as Ben handed her a bottle of water and moved to hold Rey up so she could swallow.

"How long have you been here?" Rose asked, her almond shaped eyes going up to meet his.

"She's been like this for three days." He told her, easing Rey back down onto her mattress.

Rose looked him up and down. "When's the last time you've slept? Or eaten?"

"What does that matter?" He snapped, though he hadn't meant to.

Her face softened. "I'll stay with her today."

Ben was shaking his head before she'd even finished that sentence. "I'm not leaving her."

"You need sleep." Rose argued. "You need food."

"And she needs me more."

 _Ben_. Rey called, and his head turned as if she'd said it out loud. _I know what this is doing to you._ She showed him how he looked, his hair in disarray, with several days of stubble on his face, deep purple bags under his bloodshot eyes, shoulders slumped in anxious worry.

He shoved the image away.

 _Get some rest._ She urged and he didn't fight her. He couldn't.

He knelt down and kissed her clammy forehead. _I love you_.

She looked at him, broken blood vessels spotting the whites of her eyes with dots of red. _I know._

He stood and stepped through the Bond, knowing it would call him back soon. He fell, face first onto his bed, not taking the time to undress or remove his boots, and was asleep in minutes.

He awoke several hours later, in the same position he'd fallen in, and put both hands on the mattress, pushing himself up to look at the clock on his nightstand.

Force, he'd been asleep for seven hours!

He went to check on Rey, finding her asleep in a fuzzy brown sweater he'd never seen before. It was huge, going to her jawbone, and covering her hands to the tips of her fingers. She was also covered in several layers of blankets.

Rose, sitting in a nearby chair, looked up from a book in her hands. "You still look like hell." She said simply, and went back to reading.

Ben ignored that.

"How long has she been asleep?"

"Not long." Rose said, sounding uninterested.

He hadn't felt anything through the bond, so the medicine must have worked. He tilted his head back and signed in relief. But, if she just went to sleep he didn't want to wake her.

He returned to his room. He ate and showered, and ventured out to catch up on the goings-on of his ship, checking on Rey periodically, but finding her asleep or hitting the walls of her shields. That confused him, but he didn't push it.

He stepped through once more to check on Rey before he went to bed that night, finding her in that hideous sweater with Rose sleeping soundly next to her.

He went to his own room, ate and fell asleep.

The Bond pulled him so forcefully, he bolted straight up in bed, gasping, pain in his stomach, his sides, his head, but it was a ripping pain in his chest that stole his breath. He got up, feeling as if he'd lose consciousness at any moment.

 _Rey._

He followed the call of The Bond to her, it taking much longer than just a step, and stumbled into her bedroom, expecting her to be in the refresher but found her in her bed, and there was vomit on her sheets.

She looked up at him with a pained expression and vomited again, a sob also shaking her. Rose tried to get a wastebasket under Rey in time but failed, and they both watched as Rey soiled the sweater she was still wearing.

Ben swore and went to her. "What happened?" He demanded.

"She tried to take another pill." Rose explained.

"I thought they helped." He grabbed the bottom of the sweater to pull it off but Rey gripped it weakly with both of her hands.

He looked at Rose, who looked down at the floor to avoid his gaze.

The Bond rumbled, and Rey's shields broke, flooding his mind with the past 24 hours.

Rey had hoisted her shields in place and closed the Bond as soon as Ben left. He'd been by her side for three days, the worry in his eyes tearing into her heart and she knew he was suffering just as much as she was. Maybe more, since he felt everything she felt, and was forced to watch her waste away. So, she used the last of her strength to push him out to protect him from what was going on with her. Was it going to work? She didn't know, but she had to try.

She'd asked Rose for the thickest sweater she could find, claiming to be cold. Rose had returned with one so enormous it covered Rey to mid-thigh, hiding how thin she'd grown. _Perfect_

And, the medicine Rose brought her hadn't helped, because Rey couldn't even keep it down, vomiting nearly as soon as she swallowed. But, the fact that she'd still tried to force them into her had actually made it worse.

And she'd wasted energy on her shields, on shutting him out, and manipulated their Bond to keep it from him.

To _protect_ him.

His haunting brown eyes slowly moved to her, hurt and betrayal leaving his face blank, angry tears blurring his vision. His chest ached as if he'd been punched, the wind knocked out of him.

He reached over Rey's shoulder and grabbed a fistful of fabric. She didn't protest as he pulled it off, leaving Rey in her Binder that she always wore now to ease the aching of her breasts.

He drew a shuttering breath and it came out of him and a low broken moan as he saw exactly what she'd been so desperate to hide.

She'd always been thin, but a week of starving had hollowed out her collar bone, leaving pits in her shoulders. He could see her ribs, her sternum, her hips, and the bones of her wrists.

Hot tears rolled down his face and he had to remind himself to breath, taking another long, shaky breath.

Rey leaned forward, heaving, the stabbing pain in her chest blazing into him, and he heard Rose gasp sharply as bright red blood pooled out of Rey's mouth.

Ben didn't think, his body moving on it's own accord, as he hooked an arm under Rey's knees and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders and lifted her up effortlessly.

He turned to Rose. "Medical Bay." He growled through clinched teeth.

Rose did not hesitate to show him the way.


	6. Truce

Ben followed Rose down the hall and watched her fling all of the strength in her tiny frame into throwing open the metal doors leading into the waiting room of the medical bay. He was several strides behind her, and heard her scream for help.

He turned, pushing the door open with his back, and angled carefully so nothing would touch Rey as he went inside.

The wing stilled to a halt.

He looked up, through the mess of ebony hair that hung in his eyes, to several people, patients and staff alike, staring at him, faces pale with dread.

Then, every mind started screaming at him.

 _Kylo Ren!_

 _What has he done to her?_

 _He'll kill us all!_

 _How did he get in here?_

He stood there, panting, as he looked around the room with pleading eyes.

Rose was at the front desk, trying to talk to a staff member but they weren't listening, just staring over her in terror.

Rey's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she went limp in his arms.

"No!" He growled, shaking her awake. She blinked, and looked up at him. "Please, just stay with me." He begged.

A woman in green scrubs ran around the desk. "What's going on?" She asked.

"She's six weeks pregnant." He panted. "She's throwing up blood."

She immediately turned and ran to the door leading to the emergency wing. "Bring her back." She scanned her badge and the door slid open with a beep.

Ben obeyed, following her to a paper covered bed that crinkled when he carefully laid Rey on it.

"How long has this been going on?" The woman asked, taking her stethoscope from around the back of her neck.

"She's been vomiting constantly for about a week." He told her, watching as she checked Rey's pulse. "And, she vomited blood now, just a few minutes ago."

The Bond growled, sending shivers down his spine. He looked to Rey, prepared to snatch her up if she was vomiting but she wasn't.

She was looking up at him, and her vacant eyes unfocused.

His blood ran cold.

"Rey?" He called, his eye brows pulled together.

The pain, her pain in his stomach, his head, his chest, faded and he reached out to her mind with his, finding nothing but the light years between them.

" _Rey._ " He said again, his voice cracking, as she blurred from his vision.

He blinked, and found the grey walls of his bedroom.

It took him a moment to realize what happened. The Bond had pushed him out? He reached out to her, to her mind, to their Bond, to her light, to anything, but found nothing but his darkness, and he knew he hadn't been pushed out.

The Bond had severed.

No. He refused to believe that. She had to be there, she _had_ to be.

He reached out again, closing his eyes as he concentrated. _Please, Rey, please_. He begged, searching for her. _Please._

But, he couldn't find her. And, for the first time since he'd first laid eyes on her, he was alone.

 _She's gone._

He screamed, sending his fist through the nearest thing to him, and beat whatever it was to splinters. He picked up the chair matching his now ruined desk and flung it across the room, unable to see where it went for the water in his eyes.

He reached out again in desperation, falling to his knees when he found the same dark nothingness, and sobbed, sinking to the floor.

For a while, he wasn't sure how long, he saw nothing, felt nothing but the sobs that shook him, heard nothing but his own broken agony echoing off the walls.

And then, a spark.

He gasped, looking up, waiting before he let himself believe it was her.

Another spark, and then another before he reached out, and let out a sign of relief when he found her.

She wasn't gone. She was so weak the Force was pulling everything in in a last ditch effort to save her. Including their Bond.

He closed his eyes, and let his head fall back, allowing himself a moment, relief allowing him to take several deep breaths before he stood up and walked out of his room.

General Hux stared at a holographic map of the Outerbanks when several men around him snapped to attention, a show of respect for someone who outranked him, and there was only one man who did.

The hair on the back of his neck rose, as he heard Kylo Ren's heavy footsteps behind him. "Supreme Leader." He said, turning. "It's been a full week since you've graced us with your presence."

Ren ignored him entirely, not even looking up as he walked to the door that led to the hanger.

"What are you-?" Hux stopped, watching Ren walk by his own ship, and to an ordinary TIE Fighter that was awaiting authorization to start up. He disconnected the tethers, and climbed inside.

"Sir, should we-" A tropper started to ask but Hux held up a hand, silencing him. He heard Ren punch something in the cockpit of the Fighter, a breaking noise, a snap, then watched him as he stood up and dropped something onto the hanger floor. The engine hummed to life.

"Stop him!" Hux screamed, dropping what was in his hands as he ran forward.

The blast of the engines as they went into lightspeed threw him onto his back. He scrambled to his feet. "Follow him!" He commanded, shaking with rage. He bent down, and picked up what Ren had dropped.

"The tracking system." A trooper commented.

"Can we find him without it?" Hux demanded, though he already knew the answer.

"No, Sir."

Hux sneered, balling his fist around the tracker and threw it to the floor. "Stay on the scanners! Alert me the moment a TIE fighter is mentioned!"

"Yes, sir." The trooper said.

"General?" Lieutenant Connix called, urgently.

Leia looked over her shoulder at the younger woman, just as Rose burst into her office, panting.

"Rose?" Leia said, her focus going to her. "What is it?"

"It's Rey." Rose told her. "She's in the medical bay."

Leia stood up, a took a step forward.

"General." Connix called again, her voice raised several octives, stopping her.

And an energy washed over her. An energy she'd recognise anywhere. _Ben_. And, she knew why Connix looked so worried. _He's here._

"We have a land request from a First Order TIE Fighter." Connix told her. "Piloted by Kylo Ren."

"He's not requesting." Leia said, a small smile turning her lips up at the corners. She looked at the Lieutenant. "Stand down." She commanded, her voice low, but heard in every corner of the room. Everyone stopped to stare up at her in shock.

When no one moved to give her order, she walked to the intercom and pressed the button. "Stand down." She said calmly. "Complete radio silence until I say otherwise. Do not engage. I repeat: Do. Not. Engage." And walked out of the room.

Poe ran up to her, skidding to a stop a few feet away. "What was that about?" He demanded. and Leia smiled, looking up. Poe followed her gaze, his jaw falling open as he watched a TIE fighter decend and land.

"Leia," Poe gasped, as Kylo Ren climbed out of the cockpit.

"Stand down." She said again, watching her son stalk toward her.


	7. Wolves Are Waiting

It had taken him hours to get to her and when he finally landed, he was so exhausted he could barely move, he was starving, a migraine pounded behind his eyes, and he'd never been so scared in all his life. Waking up with the green glow of Luke's lightsaber over him? Nothing. Kneeling before the creature that had manipulated him for years, and pledging his allegiance to him as Supreme Leader? Nothing. A thousand battlefields on a hundred different planets? Nothing, compared to not being able to feel her, not being able to find her when he reached out.

He'd get flashes from time to time. Sometimes, they were of the doctors working over her, sometimes they were of her dreams. Ben clung to them, knowing that the slightest spark meant she was still alive. But, she'd completely faded about half an hour ago, and he'd been unable to get her back.

He unbuckled his safety harness and climbed out of the TIE Fighter, his body aching, and walked toward his mother.

This was the first time she'd seen him, really seen him since he'd left for training with Luke. He had no idea what to say to her, how to try to explain himself, or his actions. He knew there was no explanation or reasoning for what he'd done, what he'd taken from her.

And Force, how he missed her.

He wanted to fall at her feet and bury his face in her skirts, breathe in her familiar scent, and beg her forgiveness.

And he missed him more.

In the past week, when he was able to get a few hours of sleep, he dreamt of a child toddling after Han up the ramp of the Falcon, sitting on his lap in the cockpit, and Han would tousle her auburn hair, ruining the three bun style and say "You'll be a great pilot, Kid." and she would beam up at him, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling. Ben was woken by the Bond from these dreams, called to Rey. But, when he'd been able to get away, he'd lock himself in his chambers and sob.

Because he'd taken Han from his mother.

Because he'd taken Han from himself.

Because he'd taken Han from the child Rey carried.

And, Ben would never forgive himself. He'd never stop hurting.

When he was stronger, fed and rested, he could shove that pain into the back of his mind and he could function. But now?

Now, it was taking everything he had to hold himself together.

He was trembling with the effort when he stopped in front of his mother, his gaze on the heavy fabric of her skirt.

The pilot, Dameron, stood on her left, fuming. He'd been given direct orders to stand down, but that didn't stop him from screaming furiously into Ben's pounding head, remembering the last time they'd been face to face.

Several feet behind them, Rose stared up at him, her face solemn.

He teetered a bit as he stepped between Poe and his mother, and walked toward her.

"Am I too late?" He asked, his voice heavy.

She shook her head, her spikey black hair swaying on either side of her face and he squeezed his eyes shut, blowing out a quick breath.

"Will you take me to her?" He begged and she nodded once, before turning.

He followed her, hearing the rustle of his mothers gown and her light footsteps behind him.

They went on for what seemed like hours until he recognized the double doors of the medical bay. Rose led them upstairs, away from the Emergency wing and stopped in front of a closed door.

"The doctor wanted to see you." She said, softly.

Ben's stomach twisted into knots. "Me?"

Rose nodded. "I'll tell her you're here." And walked away.

Ben stared at the door for a moment before turning the metal handle and walking in.

He hadn't known what to expect, just that it would be difficult, but his knees nearly buckled when he saw her.

She was asleep, her hair completely down, he could see the sharpness of her cheekbones, and there was a tube looping around her right ear, going into her nose. More tubes were taped to the back of her right hand, connected to bags of fluid that hung from metal hooks near her. There was a dark blue cuff around her left arm and wires that ran down to something that was taped onto the tip of her middle finger.

Someone had put her in a light blue robe that tied in the back, but they'd left it undone, and draped it across her chest. The thin fabric was pulled up to cover her shoulders and blankets covered her to her waist.

He pressed his shaking fingers into her palm, his heart dropping when she didn't respond.

The door behind him opened and closed.

"Are you the father?" A woman's voice asked, reminding him that Rey wasn't the only thing he had to lose.

Not anymore.

"Yes." He answered, breaking into a cold sweat.

"I'm Dr. Kaid Sivi." She said, as she walked around Rey's bed and stood, facing him. He didn't answer, didn't look up as he waited for her to continue.

"We're lucky you got her here when you did. She's dehydrated, and her kidneys were shutting down from starvation. We're pushing fluids into her, but the vomiting caused an esophageal tear, which is where the blood came from. While it heals, she'll need the feeding tube."

"Are you the doctor she saw a week ago?" Ben asked, his tone making the hair on her arms rise.

"Yes." She said.

"You told her this was normal." He looked up at her, and a ripple of the Force made the room shake as his stone cold eyes met hers.

Dr. Sivi cleared her throat. "Around eighty percent of women experience morning sickness in their first trimester. When I first saw her, her symptoms were normal."

"And when Rose told you it was worse." He snarled. Another ripple. More shaking, and the Doctor took a step back.

"I sent her anti-nausea medication because it helps the majority of my patients." She explained. "I assure you, if I'd known she had hyperemesis gravidarum, I would have never sent that medication."

"You could have killed her." The wave of the Force that rolled off of him crashed into her and she felt an uncomfortable pressure against her throat. Not crushing, just enough to make it harder to breathe, and she coughed, bewildered by the sensation.

If he had meant to, if he had been able to form a coherent thought other than the incapacitating worry that weighed on him, he could have crushed her windpipe. But, his exhaustion, his migraine, and the fact that he hadn't eaten in twenty hours made him unable to adequately control his abilities.

"We've done an ultrasound." She said. "To make sure there's no damage to the fetus."

Ben looked up at her, his screaming headache making his brain work harder to comprehend what she was saying, and the pressure on her throat vanished.

"Is there?" He asked, terrified of the answer.

The doctor shook her head. "No." And he sighed, bringing his free hand up to cover his face.

"We're giving her injections of the strongest anti-nausea medication we have, one of the side effects is drowsiness, and her body needs time to build it's strength up so she'll be out for a while."

A knock at the door made both their heads turn, and a silent moment passed before Leia stepped into the room.

Dr. Sivi straightened, recognition flashing in her steel grey eyes. "General."

"Doctor." Leia said back, as a greeting and walked to Ben's side. She put her hand over his and Rey's and gave them a gentle squeeze. "How is she?"

Ben took a breath, his bottom lip quivering. He wanted to answer her, to translate what the doctor had told him, and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, fighting the urge to cry so hard his throat ached.

"She'll be fine." The doctor answered, and left it at that. "I'll check back in a few hours."

Leia thanked her as Dr. Sivi walked passed them, and put her hands on Ben's shoulders as soon as the door closed behind them. "You look like you're about to fall over." She said, guiding him into a nearby chair, and he didn't fight her.

"It's been a rough week." He admitted, sitting down.

"Rough is an understatement, from what Rose tells me." She sat in a chair next to him. "I wish you would have called me." She said, after a silent beat. "I would have helped you shoulder the burden."

"Rey isn't a burden." He cut in, not looking at her.

Leia shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. Of course, Rey isn't a burden, but dealing with an illness of this magnitude can be. Not to mention you just found out about the baby a week ago, and you and Rey haven't been together very long, a few months, I'd assume, and all this can be overwhelming. And, from what I understand, the Force bound you, you didn't choose-"

"Yes, I did." Ben interrupted, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees. He met her gaze, his brow furrowed. "Do you think our Bond was forced on us?"

Leia lowered her chin. "Wasn't it?"

He shook his head. "No." He rubbed his forehead with his palm and looked across the room to Rey's sleeping form. "I knew what she was, what we were as soon as I saw her on Takodana. And she hated me." His voice broke when he said 'hated'. "We started seeing each other, communicating through the Bond, but we didn't know that's what it was yet. And I wouldn't let myself believe that this..." He trailed off, looking at Rey. "Perfect woman was meant for me. I knew I loved her, knew I'd never love any one else when she-" He brought a hand up to trace the scar down his cheek and smiled slightly at the memory. "Beat me on Star Killer Base."

Leia's eye brows pulled together. Rey had given him that scar?

"Snoke said it was him, but," He shook his head, again. "I knew better. And, after Crait, I promised myself I'd stay away, if it meant her being happy. She'd earned it. She's worked so hard, and been given barely enough to keep herself alive and she'd finally found..." He swallowed hard. "But, then, the Bond started calling us to each other. And, I would step through whenever she needed me."

"When you say 'step through'?" Leia asked.

Ben nodded. "Our Bond binds us. And, I can take a step and be where ever she is."

"Like Force projection?" She wanted to know.

"Stronger than that. But, I can't choose where I go. I can't project to anyone, anywhere." He looked back up to Rey. "Just to her. And, one night, I woke up from one of my nightmares, and she was there. The Bond had called her to me. And, after that I knew I couldn't stay away anymore. I couldn't hide, or hide our Bond. And once I started talking, trying to explain what was between us, I couldn't stop. And, I was a fool to think she hadn't already known."

"She did?" Leia gasped, completely enthralled in his story.

Ben nodded again. "And, after I explained a Force Bond to her, and what it meant, I left it up to her. She could have walked away. I gave her that option, to sever the Bond. It would have destroyed me, if she had, but I was willing to let her, if it's what she wanted. But, she wanted to see me. Really see me so we could see what this Bond was. "

"Did you see her?" Leia asked, when he didn't finish and Ben smiled, making Leia's eyes grow wide with shock. But her son, was genuinely smiling.

"I did." He said, remembering that first face to face meeting. When Rey crashed into him, her lips bruising his with an urgent kiss. Her hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair, her legs wrapped around his waist, her hips grinding into him and he'd pulled away, though it'd taken all of his will power to do so. "If we-" He'd told her. "It'll seal the Bond. And it can't be undone." And she'd looked at his mouth, then her honey brown eyes met his. "Do you love me?" She'd asked and he nodded. "Yes." She'd brought a hand up to cup his cheek. "I've loved you since that night on Ahch-Tu." She'd admitted and he broke, falling to shards and being pieced together all at once. "You...what?" He'd panted, not daring to believe what she'd just said. "I love you." She'd said again and his body had responded with a giant, heaving shutter, a low growl ripping from his throat as he'd kissed her. Not the demanding, urgent kisses they'd previously shared. He'd pressed his lips to hers gently, pouring every ounce of himself into her, showing her how precious she was, how privileged he was to have her in his arms, to have her love him.

"I'd know since Takodana," He said, lost in his memory. "That she was my equal. And, I bared my entire being to her, expecting her to run, like everyone else had, but she was the only one to see the light in me, instead of the darkness, and fight for it."

"She saved you." Leia said.

Ben shook his head. "She gave me a reason to save myself." He looked at his mother. "The Bond wasn't forced on me. And I made damned sure it wasn't forced on her. I chose this, chose her. And, I'll choose her above everything else until the universe falls apart around us and even after that."

Leia put her hand over his. "You don't have to do this alone." But, he'd always been alone, and he looked down at her hand over his, frowning.

"About your father." She said suddenly.

"Mom, please." He begged. He couldn't do this now.

Leia squeezed his hand. "This needs to be said." And he relented, waiting for her to continue.

She took a steadying breath. "What happened wasn't your fault." and his head snapped up.

"What?" He gasped.

Leia met his gaze unflinching. "It was mine." And, he felt his jaw fall slack, his forehead crease, as he stared at her. "Because you were a child." She brought a hand up to touch his cheek, her bottom lip trembling. "My perfect, baby boy."

She blurred, as his eyes filled with tears.

"And, it was my job to protect you." Her tears streaked down her face. "I failed."

When he was younger, the only thing his father feared were his mother's tears. And, he'd done whatever it took to dry her eyes. Ben would come apart, like his father did, whenever his mother started to cry, and now, though he was a man, grown, he felt his dams break, and he couldn't control his own tears.

"If I had been more present for you." Her voice quaked. "If I had protected my baby the way I should have, I would have known Snoke was preying on you. But, I didn't. And, I'm sorry."

A sob broke out of Ben's chest, then out of hers and they folded into each other. And, as they cried together, an anger that Ben had been holding onto ruptured, pouring out of him as he soaked his mother's skirts with tears.


	8. Winter Sun

She'd fought it.

Fought the dizzying fog that threatened to slip her into unconsciousness again. Because he'd begged her, "Just stay with me."

 _Yes_ , she wanted to say. _Anything_. But, she just stared up at him, as he carried her into the emergency wing and laid her down, gently. How was it possible that he was always so gentle with her?

She stared at the fine lines around his eyes, and the worried creases in his forehead. He was pale, which was impressive considering his complexion, and there were deep purple bags under his eyes, that were rimmed with red, as if he'd been crying.

The Bond groaned, low and deep, and she felt the shutter that ran down his spine as his eyes went to her, horror etched in his russet orbs. He'd called her name, and she wanted to answer him, but her tongue was cemented to the roof of her mouth. She heard him say her name once more, before he faded, and the Bond snapped.

Rey reached out for him with her mind. But, their Bond was just gone, without the slightest whisper that it had even ever existed.

She remembered the nurse using a syringe to inject something under her ribcage, directly into her stomach and then the dark, dense, smokey fog won.

She'd been searching for him since, wondering through the nothingness, finding flashes from time to time, but not knowing what was him and what were her own dreams. She saw the cockpit of a TIE Fighter, space and stars. She saw Leia, her grey-brown hair braided high on her head. She saw food. Not the dried portions she'd lived off of most of her life, but real food, like what she'd been given on base without having to work for it.

And now, through the haze, she saw the familiar lights of the _Falcon_. She walked toward them, seeing that the ramp was down, and the engines were off.

"Ben?" She called, stepping onto the ramp, tensing when she heard footsteps approach, and Ben stepped into view, with his hands raised above his head.

His hair was longer, and he wore a cream colored tunic with blue pants and black boots. Rey looked him over, and to his upraised hands. "What-" She started.

"The Dread Pirate Captain Jack has commandeered the ship." He told her, as way of explanation, making the crease between her brows grow deeper. She opened her mouth to ask if he'd gone daft when a small boy walked up to him, holding a wooden sword. He was tiny, no more than five years old, dressed similarly as Ben, with black smudge rubbed on his face as a beard, and his ebony hair sticking out from under the brim of a pirate hat.

Ben waved his arms about in mock horror. "Oh no!" He bellowed. "The Dread Pirate Captain Jack!"

"We have the gold!" The boy told him.

"Impossible!" Ben huffed. "I have my first mate guarding the gold!"

The boy pointed his wooden sword to Ben's left, and he pivoted to look. Rey stepped forward, craning her neck to see, and found Chewie, also in a pirate hat, holding a toy chest.

"A mutiny!" Ben gasped. "The Queen will not stand for this!"

The boy turned to look at her, and Rey gasped, as she stared at her own face, grown young, her square chin and strong jaw, her straight nose, her delicate cheekbones, and Ben's soulful eyes stared back at her.

The boy groaned. "Is it time to go in?" Ben scooped the child up into his arms and covered his face in kisses. The boy cackled. "Yes." Ben said, in his normal voice, sitting him down on his feet. "Go wash up for dinner."

The boy ran passed her, but stopped at the end of the ramp.

"Your majesty." Ben said, taking Rey's hand, and bowing at the waist to kiss her knuckles. "Thank you for sparing me from the Dread Pirate Captain Jack." He looked up at her through his hair, a smile playing the corners of his lips. "Whatever can I do to repay you?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively, making her stomach erupt into flames, the heat blazing lower, and she bit her bottom lip.

Chewie roared, grumbling about them getting a room, and turned to return the hat and chest to the toy bin.

Ben stood, pulling her to him, and kissed her, wrapping his arm around her.

"Bleh!" The boy grimaced, doubling over the ramp and loudly pretending to hurl.

Ben laughed, his smile going all the way to his eyes, and kept his arm around her, as he walked down the ramp.

Rey awoke slowly, first realizing she wasn't on the _Falcon_ , that The Dread Pirate Captain Jack had been a dream, then all at once, opening her eyes to take in her actual surroundings.

She was on her back, with blankets covering her lower half, but she could move her legs, she found when she wiggled her toes. Tubes were taped to her right arm in two different places, and there were bandages where she didn't remember being injured. She looked at her left hand, finding wires, but also seeing Leia seated at there bedside.

"Rey?" Leia said, sitting up, weary wrinkles around her eyes.

Rey reached out for Ben, unable to find him.

"Leia." She said, her voice cracking twice. "I can't find Ben."

Leia brought her hand up, and spoke into a device on her wrist. "She's awake." And then stood up, her gown rustling with the movement.

Rey looked around, the movement of her head tugging at a tube that went up her nose. "What's this?" She asked, bringing a hand up to touch it, but Leia stopped her.

"It's a feeding tube." She told her, and Rey looked up at her in confusion, the machine that was connected to her beeping a warning that her heartrate was rising.

"A what?" Rey demanded, and something solid hit the metal of her door with a loud thunk, the force of the hit flinging it open, and Ben stumbled in, looking around wildly, until he found her.

Rey gasped, her eyes wide, and they both panted as they stared at each other.

Leia silently excused herself and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Ben crossed the room in two strides, his hands going to either side of her face, and she was surrounded by his darkness, his scent, his power. She signed, feeling whole again, after being apart from him for so long, as he pressed his forehead to hers and inhaled deep.

"You're here." She breathed, bringing her hands up to touch his cheek, to brush his hair out of his face, to grip his shoulder, her throat tight. "You're really here."

"I had to." He said, shaking his head. "The Bond pushed me out, I couldn't find you. I had to get to you, I had to make sure you were alive." He kissed her, hard. And everything crashed into her. The dread he'd lived with for the past few days, how exhausted he was flying across the galaxy to get to her, not sure what he'd find when he landed. Anger. Dark, swirling rage. He once thought it was impossible to be angry with her, but, after what she'd done, he was furious. And, relief so deep it radiated in his bones.

He let her go and stood up, quickly. "You scared the bantha fodder out of me!" He yelled, making her flinch.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Usually, I find your stubbornness quite fetching but you almost killed yourself." His eyes weren't angry, not now. They were pleading, begging her to understand what she'd done. And, she did, the gravity weighing on her.

"I'm sorry." She said again, weakly.

He sighed, and looked away, shaking his head. When he looked back at her, it was the same look he'd given her on Crait, when she'd closed the doors to the Falcon. He was broken, his bottom lip trembling. "You can't do that to me." He begged. "I'm not-" He sighed again, and she saw his throat bob as he swallowed. "I'm not strong enough to lose you again."

She lifted her arms slightly. "Come here." And he obeyed, laying as much of himself as he could on the narrow bed, resting his head against her stomach as she combed her fingers through his hair. Their Bond coursed through them, the Force buzzing like electricity, as it always did when they were together.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." Rey signed. "And closed our Bond." He lifted his head to look at her. "And, scared the bantha fodder out of you." She smiled.

"Thank the Maker that the baby is fine." He sighed, looking down at his giant hand resting on the soft curve between her hips.

Rey nodded in agreement. "And, we need to start thinking of boy names, because I'm not a fan of Jack."

Ben went rigid and looked up. "Boy names?" He echoed.

Rey nodded again.

"Why boy names?" Ben asked, his voice uneasy.

"Because I've seen him." She told him. "I had a dream, just before I woke up, of you and him playing with Chewie-"

"In the Falcon." Ben finished for her, sitting up.

Reys eyebrows pulled together. "Yes, in the Falcon. Why?"

Ben was looking at his hand over her stomach with a mixed expression of terror and wonder.

"What is it?" She asked, fear quickening her breath.

"Because I've had the same dream." He told her, and looked up. "But, in my dream, it's a girl."

He dreamt of a girl. She dreamt of a boy with her face, and his hair and eyes. Either the Force was playing a decidedly not funny joke on them, or...

"It's twins." Ben whispered


	9. Scars

Dr. Sivi walked into the room and smiled at Rey. "How are you feeling?"

"Hungry." Rey said, making Ben laugh once. He stood next to her with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Excellent." The doctor said, pulling a small flashlight out of her pocket and shining it in Rey's eyes. "Everything is starting to look normal again, I think we just need to get that tube out and give you some real food, you'll just need to take it easy for a few days. And, a bland diet, we don't want to irritate your esophagus."

Rey nodded her understanding.

Dr. Sivi pocketed her flashlight. "I'll send your medication home with you. It is an injection that will need to be administered at least an hour before eating."

"I'll have to get a shot in my stomach everytime I eat?" Rey asked.

Dr. Sivi frowned. "Afraid so. At least until the end of the first trimester. Or risk your symptoms returning."

"That's not a risk we will be taking." Ben said, his voice grave.

"Also," The doctor said. "I'd wanted to wait until Rey was awake to tell you." Ben and Rey looked up. "When I did the ultra sound, I found two sacks." She told them, and they stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Dr. Sivi blinked. "You're carrying fraternal twins."

She'd expected a reaction. A smile, a gasp, tears maybe, something. But, they looked at her as if she was telling them old news.

"Ok." She said. "Let's get the tube out, and if you can hold down anything, I'll discharge you."

The nurse showed Rey how to give herself her medication and waited an hour before giving her a glass of water and a sleeve of crackers. They'd waited another hour before they disconnected her tubing and let her leave.

She changed into a clean dress Leia sent her, and put on the matching slippers, before taking Ben's hand and walking to her rooms, her fingers woven with his.

When they reached her door, he held it open for her, walking in and letting it close behind them.

Rose had brought them food from the mess hall. It looked like some sort of stew with root vegetables, a bowl for each of them, two slices of cake with a white sugary glaze, and a jug of blue milk.

They sat at her dining table and Rey took an experimental sniff of the stew, testing to see if the smell of gravy and herbs would make her stomach turn. It didn't, thankfully, but that didn't affect her sudden lack of appetite.

Ben shoveled a bite from his bowl into his mouth and chewed slowly, watching her as she used her spoon to cut a piece of a potato into smaller bites, then moved onto another piece.

"What's wrong?" He asked, after he'd swallowed and she still hadn't taken a bite.

"How long have you been here?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Two days."

"Two _days_?" She exclaimed. She'd missed two days with him? More than that, really, because she'd closed their Bond for two days before he'd taken her to the medical bay.

"What have you been doing?" She asked, and he ignored her. She rubbed against his mental shields and saw him flinch as he pushed her away.

"You don't want to see that." He warned her, his haunting brown eyes going to hers and she frowned, meeting his gaze.

"I want to know everything I missed for the past four days." She insisted but he didn't budge. "What could possibly be-"

"I completely fell apart, Rey." He admitted, silencing her immediately. She blinked, her eye brows pulled together. "I thought you were dead, not once but twice and I fell apart." He took a breath, his chin trembling. "And, I can't relive that." He looked at her, his eyes pleading for her to understand.

She nodded, lowing her gaze, but, she still wanted to know everything that had gone on. "If I ask you, will you tell me the truth?"

"I always tell you the truth." He pointed out, and then sighed when that answer wasn't enough for her. "If you eat." He conditioned, nodding to her bowl.

She dipped her spoon into her stew and took a bite, chewing as she stared at him.

"Fine." He said, turning in his chair to face her. "What do you want to know?

She swallowed what was in her mouth, choosing her first question carefully. "How did you get here?"

"I ripped the tracking system out of a TIE Fighter." He told her. "And, subsequently, also damaged the mapping sequence and the navigation." He sighed, and brushed his hair out of his face with his fingers. "And, flew here."

"Without navigation?" She asked, impressed.

"I didn't say it was easy." He noted.

No, she didn't think it had been easy. In fact, it must have been damned near impossible. She chewed on her bottom lip, noticing how his gaze went to the motion. "When are you going back?" She asked.

He raised his eye brows, looking down at her bowl, then back up to her.

She loaded stew onto her spoon and put it in her mouth, chewed, then swallowed.

" _We_ ," He stressed. "Are leaving for Naboo as soon as you're strong enough to make the trip."

Rey's heart fluttered. "We?"

He nodded.

She knew this had been their plan, but there was so much she didn't understand, her mind a jumble of so many questions she didn't know where to begin.

Ben heard the soft roar of her mind. "You eat, I'll explain." He offered and she took another bite of stew. "I've given my mother every relevant detail about The First Order." He told her. "They're looking for me, and if I know Hux, given a few more days, he'll find me. When he does, he'll attack, and she'll be waiting for him, along with her allies." He leaned closer to her, his eyes reserved. "And, when that happens, I have to have the three of you as far away from here as possible."

She noticed how fluidly he'd accepted the fact that she was carrying twins, and it unnerved her, but she said nothing as he continued. "Poe has been given intel on the weak spots of the fleet. If the battle goes as planned, there won't be much left of The First Order, and I'll surrender to the Republic."

Rey dropped her spoon. He'd said it so casually, as if it were the only logical step. "Surrender?" She echoed, her eyes wide with horror.

Ben leaned back in his seat, the chair creaking with the movement.

"You can't surrender, Ben, they'll arrest you." Rey bit out.

"No," He explained. "My mother made it a condition of my surrender that in exchange for the withdrawal of power, my war crimes be pardoned."

Her throat ached at the thought of losing him in a battle he didn't have to be a part of, or being arrested by a Republic that he didn't have to face.

"I can't just walk away, Rey." He said, softly, hearing her thoughts as if they were his own.

"Why?" She asked, her voice breaking.

He leaned forward and put his massive hand overs hers, staring at them as he spoke. "If it were just us, I would flee to the smallest dot in this galaxy and spend the rest of my life running if it meant being with you." He looked up, locking her gaze. "I love you that much. But that's not a life I can bring children into."

He was surrendering for them. So they could have something as close to normal as possible. And, he was willing to sacrifice himself to do it. She tore her gaze from his and looked down at their hands.

"If this goes to plan," He said. "I'll come home to the three of you, and we will finally be able to just be together."

She huffed in irriation when he referred to her and the twins she carried as "the three".

"Why are you being like that?" She asked.

His forehead puckered. "Like what?"

"About the...babies." She clarified, not able to say it out loud just yet. He stared at her in confusion, and she sighed, frustrated. "I am terrified." She admitted, and his face fell. "I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with one baby, and I'm even more afraid now and you, you have no reaction at all."

Anger flashed in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared as he stared at her intently.

She went on. "I don't understand how you can just say the three of me as if this isn't going to alter our lives forever, when we just found out less than four hours ago."

"How would you like me to react?" He asked, his voice low.

She looked down at the full bowl of stew in front of her, remembering the day she'd told him, the swirl of emotions that he'd poured into her through their Bond. The happiness he was unable to contain, the fear mixed with the joy. And, when they'd found out it was twins, he'd simply accepted it and moved on, casually throwing it into their conversation now, that is was the three of her.

He sighed, her memories flooding his mind. "When we agreed to meet that first time," He said, slowly. "I didn't plan on making love to you, and sealing the Bond. I wasn't prepared for what it would do to me, or how it changed my life, but it happened. And, I don't regret it."

She raised her gaze to his, seeing the intensity of the truth in his words and nearly unraveled.

He swallowed, she saw the muscles in his throat move. "We didn't plan this pregnancy, and it's twins. We didn't plan on twins, but twins happened. And, I'm not prepared. And, I know that this is twice as complicated now, but-" He shook his head. "I don't regret it." His eyes glistened with tears that never fell. "And, I'm sorry you can't see that I _am_ happy, and I _am_ excited, and that I am _absolutely_ terrified."

There it was, and she recognized the magnitude of his confession, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes. He'd laid his chest bare. But, in doing so, Rey understood. He wasn't surrendering because it was logical, or made the most sense, but because what had happened between them, and what they'd created meant more to him than his pride, or his title. And, he was sacrificing the only life he'd ever known, for the new life growing in her.

She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, roughly capturing his lips with hers, and sat in his lap, straddling him between her thighs. Ben melted against her, fanning his hands out as he rubbed her back, the tips of his fingers dragging across the fabric of her dress. They'd been apart for so long that Rey had forgotten the almost electric shock of the Force when their lips met. She gasped, throwing her head back, as Ben's lips trailed kisses down her jaw, to her neck, and lightly lapped at the tender flesh there. She moaned, her fingers knotting in his hair.

And he abruptly pulled away. "Are we even supposed to do this?" He asked, panting.

Rey, in a moment of clarity, remembered all the reasons they shouldn't, none of which she cared about at the moment.

She shrugged. "The doctor didn't tell us we couldn't." And, Ben looked at her with the amused patience she adored before standing up, with her in his arms, and carried her to the bed.


	10. Fire Escape

Rey opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she recognized Bens arm crooked under her neck, his bicep against her cheek, and his hand sprawled across her sheets. Her back was pressed against his bare chest, and his other arm was wrapped around her waist, his knees tucked behind hers. She turned her head to glance over her shoulder, somehow still surprised when she saw Ben's sleeping form.

She smiled. He's _here_.

She snuggled closer to him, surrounding herself with his scent and warmth, the two things that never came through the Bond.

They'd fallen asleep together nearly every night since sealing the Bond, either with her in his bed, or, most often, him in hers, but they would wake up alone, having returned to their physical bodies.

But, he was here. She could feel the healthy thump of his heart and hear his even breathing.

She laid there until her bodily needs had her leaving Ben's arms and tip-toeing to the refresher.

She was washing her hands when she felt her stomach flip, and swallowed. "Oh, no." She whispered, feeling the blood drain from her face and rushed to the dining table where her medication sat.

She grabbed the packaged syringe and the glass vile, then heaved, the involuntary movement sending pain through her still sore stomach.

Ben gasped, jolting awake.

She heard the rustle of the blanket and the creak of her bed frame, and then he was next to her, taking the things out of her hands, and easing her into a chair.

She tried to focus on her breathing, the smell of rubbing alcohol burning her nose, as Ben popped the top off of the vile and cleaned it with a tiny white square. He removed the syringe from the packaging and uncapped the needle, before sticking it into the top of the vile, and drawing clear liquid into the barrel.

He knelt down infront of her, and cleaned a patch of skin on her stomach with another white square.

She heaved, crying out as pain tore through her chest.

Ben winced, feeling it too, and pinched her clean skin with one hand, and quickly stuck the needle in with his other, pushing the plunger down with his thumb.

She watched him stand, and grab a small bandage, kneeling back down to sooth it over the drop of blood that oozed out of the injection site.

"How do you know how to do that?" She asked and he looked up at her.

"Do you really think I would have stepped out of that infirmary not knowing how to take care of you?" He bent down and kissed the bandage, then stood up to clean the table off, capping the needle before he threw it away.

She realized then that they were both still nude, and she studied the scars that criss-crossed down his arms, and the blue tinted puckered scar on his abdomen.

She watched how the muscles moved under his skin as he threw the rest of the trash away and became painfully aware of her own naked body, the considerable amount of weight she'd lost and the fact that she wasn't wearing her sleeves, exposing the slave markings from when she was bought, paid for, and every cent she'd paid back for her freedom over the course of her life.

She pulled her legs up to her chest, folding her arms behind them to hide their ugliness.

Ben straightened, and cast her a blazing look.

She cursed herself, realizing she'd left her shields down, and felt heat flood her cheeks as she blushed.

He knelt down in front of her, his expression reverential. "Even now, you doubt how much I love you."

"No." Rey denied, her eyesbrows rising. "I know."

He studied her, looking at her as if he'd found something miraculous that he never believed existed, wonder and awe mixed with disbelief.

"Look." He instructed her, and lowered his shields.

She obeyed, at first only seeing darkness; thick, black smoke swirling everywhere she looked, and then, she saw herself on Takodana, her light as bright as a sun. Blinding, brilliant, seeping into his soul, something he thought long dead.

And how he'd fought it. Fought the call of the light, of her.

He'd thought that killing his father would erase her imprint on him, cast him back into the chilling nothing of his darkness.

She felt a callused hand caress her face, tears welling in her own eyes as she stared at Han, his dying mind shouting his forgiveness into her head as he fell from the bridge.

The deed that Ben had been so sure would rescue him from the turmoil of the constant war within him, split him in two and he was left with the realization of what he'd done, the soul-searing anguish stealing his breath away.

She saw herself again, like a beacon of hope in the inky abyss he'd flung himself into, and the truth that he'd been fighting since he first saw her screamed at him so loudly he was sure she could hear it.

 _She's **mine**_.

He'd fought her until she cleaved him nearly in half, the wound across his face matching what he'd done to his spirit and Rey gasped, tears streaming down her face.

"There's more." He urged, taking her hand, and holding it in his.

She went back in and she heard his voice. "You have no place in this story, you're nothing." _But, you're everything to me,_ his gods-damned pride wouldn't let him say.

He'd begged her to be his queen, and instead of taking his gloved hand, she reached out for his grandfather's lightsaber.

He'd thrown everything in him into trying to pry it from her grasp, knowing that if she had it, and left him there, she'd be his enemy and he'd never be able to fight her. He'd never be able to raise a hand to her, and if she had that lightsaber, he might as well fall to his knees and beg her to end what was left of him with it.

The final lie that Snoke told him, that he was the one that bridged their minds, withered and died with his slain master when he looked up in the control room on Crait and saw her.

He'd vowed on his broken spirit and ruined heart that he'd stay away from her, that she'd earned happiness.

And, that she'd never find it with a monster.

The Force still called him to her, still showed her to him. He took it as penance, the constant reminder of her, eventually showing her who he really was whenever he would see her. Baring his scars , his insecurities, all of his faults, knowing she'd be repulsed.

The more darkness he threw at her, the more she soothed with her light. Until he stopped fighting the Bond that was obviously between them, because he didn't want to anymore.

And, he'd taken her up on her offer to meet face to face, his stomach tied into a ball of nerves as he watched the ramp of the _Falcon_ descend.

Her eyes, the color of warm milk chocolate, met his, and he had time to remind himself to breathe before she was in his arms

It had taken him a moment to realize that she was kissing him, her tongue dancing with his, her hands were in his hair, her legs wrapped around him, and she was grinding her hips against him.

He'd carried her to what had been his room on the Falcon, where she'd been sleeping, his shins hitting the mattress he was about to fall with her on, when he'd pulled away. He explained what the physical act of love would do to them, thinking there was no way that was what she wanted and when she asked if he loved her, he answered too quickly, the word ripping its way out of him, as if on it's own accord.

 _Yes._

When she said that she loved him, his knees had gone weak, gratitude misting his eyes.

He'd fought her, he'd laid all his terrible deeds at her feet, baring himself, expecting her to run, as everyone else had, but she didn't.

It was more than he could ever dream of, more than he could hope for.

She loved him.

She chose him.

His equal, the most beautiful creature he'd ever dreamed of existing loved him, and when he'd kissed her, it was a silent vow to never forget how privileged he was to have her.

He'd made love to her with the same gentle passion, taking his time to prove to her exactly how treasured she was.

His equal. His lover. His future.

His _everything_.

And, Maker above, the ** _Bond_**.

He felt it snap into place, as a piece of him that had always been missing and finally found it's way home.

He could feel her, feel her joy and pain and pleasure and he could hear her every thought as the Bond coursed through them.

After, he was on his back, panting, with her cradled to his chest when she tilted her head back to look at him.

His insecurities threatened to steal that moment from him, filling his head with whispers that she'd regretted it, him, their Bond, the unimaginable gift she'd just given him...

But, she'd _smiled_ at him.

It was the first time he'd seen a smile light up her face.

He might as well have been blind.

His heart sputtered.

His breath caught.

And he fell in love all over again.

Ben hoisted his shields back up, watching two tears slide down Rey's face.

"I'd fly to that miserable sand pit you grew up in and cut down everyone who ever laid a hand on you, if you'd let me." He told her, his eyes burning. "But _these_ ," He traced the marks from her wrists to her shoulders. "Are just one thing of the millions that I adore about you."

She put her feet on the floor and leaned forward to kiss him, her arms going around him and pulling him to her, urgently.

He kissed her back, pulling away after a moment. "Food first." He said, standing up and walking to the bed to retrieve his clothes.

Her traitorous stomach growled in agreement.

They dressed, and headed down to the cafeteria, accepting the whispers and open mouthed stares they received.

Ben opted for fruit and toast, and Rey, grabbed a giant muffin and fresh juice.

They made their way back to her room, Rey eating the last of her muffin and asking for a bite of Ben's banana, which he handed over.

"If you're feeling up for it, we should pack." Ben suggested, as they walked into her room.

She looked up at him, a smile creeping across her face.

"Do you want to pack?" Ben asked, and she shook her head, keeping her eyes on him.

He smiled back at her. "Is there something else you'd rather do?" He asked, raising an eye brow and she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.

He pulled her to him, his arms going around her, and one of his hands traveling down, to grip her ass.

Her arms went around him, dragging her fingernails down his back, grabbing the tail of his tunic and pulling it up, their lips breaking apart long enough to pull it over his head and throw it to the floor.

A knock sounded on her door, and their heads turned toward the sound.

They knocked again before Rey could make it across her room to answer, and when she opened the door, she was taken aback at seeing General Organa staring at her, her face white as death.

"General." Rey said, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

"I need to see Ben." Leia said, skipping the greeting. " _Now._ "

Rey looked over her shoulder to see Ben pulling his shirt back on. Something in her voice told Rey that she wasn't a mother coming to see her son, but a General coming to see the Supreme Leader, and she shivered.

"I'll be right back." Ben assured her, before kissing her, and closed the door behind him as he walked out.

Her door opened twenty minutes later, and Ben came in. He pressed his back to the door, closing his eyes as he let his head fall back.

Rey's heart fell into her stomach, seeing his defeated demeanor.

 _Please don't tell me you have to go back_.

Ben sighed, covering his face with his hands and Rey frowned. That's exactly what he needed to tell her.

"What happened?" She asked, her bottom lip trembling.

"Hux attacked a planet in the Outer Rim." He answered, pushing himself away from the door.

"I thought the TIE Fighter was bait so he would attack _here_." She said.

"And that didn't work." He snapped, looking up at her, agitation written across his features.

He sighed, seeing the look she gave his sharp tone. "I'm sorry." He told her, rubbing his temples with a migraine she felt blooming behind his eyes.

Rey swallowed, pulling her shields up and pushing her own feelings into the corners of her mind. "You have to go." She told him, and he looked up at her.

His face softened, and he went to her, pulling her to his chest. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't." She said, shaking her head. She couldn't be selfish. She couldn't beg him to stay just because she didn't want him to go back. He was Supreme Leader, he had a job to do, and currently, it was stopping his second in command from destroying the galaxy.

She looked up at him, hoping her eyes said to him everything she couldn't. _Stay. Please. Stay with me_. "Go." She said, simply, and he crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply.

"I love you." She said, against his mouth.

"I know." He breathed, and she fell to her knees sobbing into her hands when the door closed behind him.

 **oOo**

Several hours later, Ben landed in the hanger of The _Finalizer_ , and jumped out of the cockpit, storming furiously toward the Bridge.

"Ah, Supreme Leader." Hux said, and Ben didn't slow his pace and he walked directly to the General and backhanded him hard across the face.

 **oOo**

She'd made sure to take both of her daily doses of medication and she'd eaten, before changing for bed. Rey sighed, turning the covers back, and turned out the light. She hadn't heard from Ben _, no news is good news_ , she reminded herself and climbed into bed. She heard the door of her room open and softly shut.

 _Ben_!

 _What are you doing here_? She asked, happily, her happiness turning into terror when he said _I'm not_ and an unfamiliar hand stroked her cheek in the pitch black.

 **oOo**

 _What are you doing here?_ Rey asked through their Bond.

The blood in Ben's veins turned to ice.

 _I'm not_. He told her, his mind barely able to form the words. His hands started to shake.

 _Rey._

Hux smiled at his horrified expression, blood streaming freely from his broken lip. "Welcome Home."


	11. Flash Time

He felt the icy fingers on her cheek, felt her heart quicken with fear, and the cold sweat on her brow.

The Bond whined, calling him to her so forcefully he winced, his body moving forward to heed its call.

He gritted his teeth together.

He couldn't step through and leave his body vulnerable to Hux, who was stalking toward him as an animal stalks his prey.

"What have you done?" Ben growled.

"I've done what you refused to do." Hux said, proudly. "I found the resistance base. I've sent the fleet to crush them." He wiped his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. "And, I've sent my best soldier to arrest Supreme Leader Snoke's murderer."

Rey swung in the darkness and the intruder easily avoided her blow, roughly grabbing her wrist and locking a stun cuff around it.

His best soldier. Not any trooper. One that was willing to defy their Supreme Leader for him. And there was only one who came to Ben's mind.

Rey felt Ben's fear shake the Bond as the intruder yanked her up out of her bed.

"In the name of The First Order." Ben recognized the voice thought the Bond. His heart skipped a beat, sending chills through him, making the hair on his arms stand on end. "You're under arrest for the murder of Supreme Leader Snoke."

 _Don't fight her._ He begged Rey, and she stopped struggling.

 _Who is she?_

 _Phasma._

"Call her off." He told Hux through his teeth.

Hux raised his chin in defiance, his blue eyes shining with it. "No." And Ben charged.

He'd told her not to fight but that didn't stop Rey from calling her staff to her. It flew across the room, into her waiting hand and she wretched her arm free of Phasmas' grasp, striking her across the face with all her might, the cuff dangling from her wrist.

 _Rey, stop!_ Ben screamed at her with his mind. He grabbed Hux by his collar and punched him with a clenched fist. Hux's head snapped to the side, then to the other as Ben punched him again.

"Call her off." Ben said again. Hux looked up, and spat a mouthful of blood at him.

Rey heard something whistle as it was swung through the air and ducked. She'd salvaged the pieces of crystals from Luke's ruined lightsaber and mounted them on either end of her staff. She flipped the switch, and the distinct sound of the blades igniting broke the silence.

She saw the intruder in the purple grow of her blades. She was tall, nearly as tall as Ben, and pale, with her platinum blond hair slicked back, away from a long face and blue eyes. She stared at Rey with obvious distaste. The armour she wore was metallic, and she wielded a long, narrow baton with spear points on either end.

It's length made the moves predictable and Rey was able to successfully parry her next blow when Phasma spun, swinging wide.

Ben was so concentrated watching Rey's fight that he didn't see Hux's fist until made contact with his nose. He stumbled back, hearing the crunch of cartilage and felt warm blood trickle down his lips.

"Look how distracted you are!" Hux taunted him, raising his fists up to protect his face. He blocked Ben's punch and delivered one of his own in Ben's ribs.

Rey swung for Phasma, aiming to take her head off her shoulders, but Phasma dodged her blade, and brought her baton down, hitting Rey on her back with a painful smack. Rey cried out, falling to her knees, and when Phasma lunged forward, she sliced through the spear with her blade. The severed piece clattered to the floor.

Ben's fist met with Hux's cheek, then sent his boot into his chest, sending him into the wall behind him.

Hux went down, and before he could scramble to his knees, Ben lifted his arm and curled his fingers, squeezing Hux's airways with the Force.

Instead of choking, and gasping for air, Hux met Ben's furious gaze unflinchingly, his face going red, then purple, and then white.

"Call. Her. Off." Ben said, his voice deathly calm.

He saw Hux's lips move, as if he were trying to speak and dropped him, too quickly.

Hux laid on on his back for a moment, his chest heaving as he sucked in several lungfuls of air. "I knew it. " He coughed, and then smiled up at Ben, with teeth stained red with blood. "I knew when you couldn't beat me in a real fight, you'd resort to those parlor tricks."

Ben sneered unhooking his lightsaber from his belt. It sputtered and hissed as he ignited it, gripping the handle with a white knuckled hand.

"Kill me and she'll kill her." Hux reminded him, and coughed again. Ben froze.

Phasma came after Rey in a fury of blows. Left, then right, and Rey blocked her, getting to her feet. When Phasma lifted her baton above her head, Rey copied her movement with her staff, realizing too late, that Phasma dropped her weapon, and wrapped her hand around Rey's throat. She hauled Rey up, snatching her staff away from her grasp and throwing it across the room, then roughly spun her around, grabbing her arm and locking her wrists together with the stun cuffs.

Rey struggled, rocking her body against Phasma's to loosen her grip, then jerked her head back, bashing the back of her skull into Phasma's jaw.

Phasma swore, letting her go and when Rey attempted to flee, Phasma backhanded her, hard. The force sent Rey crashing to the ground, and with her hands bound behind her back, Rey fell onto her shoulder.

Ben stared at Hux in defeat, and sheathed his lightsaber.

Phasma activated a communication link. "General." She reported. "I have the scavenger in custody."

Hux grunted as he got to his knees. "Well done."

 _Ben_. Rey whimpered as Phasma pulled her roughly to her feet.

 _Rey._

 _Ben, tell me how to get away from her. Tell me how to fight her._ Her panic made her thoughts jumble together as she pleaded with him.

He felt her panic, matching his. The Bond stuttered and whined.

Ben swallowed, dropping his lightsaber. "I will give you anything you want." He said, brokenly.

Hux stood, and looked at him, his thin lips curled into a smug grin, his eyes gleaming with victory.

Rey gasped. _Ben, what are you doing? Stop!_

"Anything you want." Ben said again, dropping to knees. "Just let her go."


	12. Outro

**Author's note: A million apologizes to my beautiful readers. The past few months have been hectic to say the least. My grand mother passed away, my daughter started school, I got a promotion at work, and my husband and I found out we are expecting baby number 2, all since I last updated.**

 **This will be the last chapter, with an epilogue immediately following. I've started a new fanfic that starts at the end of TLJ, explaining the Bond, and it's from Ben's POV.**

 **I hope this chapter will be worth the wait.**

 **Endless love to you.**

Rey was pushed out of their Bond, and Ben closed it to her immediately. She went in, pounding on the shiny black metal of his mental shields, trying to find a crack that would let her back in, when the communicator in Phasma's hand buzzed.

"Let her go." Hux commanded, his voice dull.

Shock mixed with relief, and Rey struggled to get away, but Phasma's grip only tightened.

"What?" Phasma ground out between clenched teeth.

"He said let me go." Rey told her.

"I don't want you to hurt her." Hux said over the communicator. "I want you to let her go, and leave the base as quickly as you can."

Rey tried to wretch free when Phasma didn't move to obey. "You heard him."

Phasma twisted Rey's injured shoulder, making Rey cry out in pain. "Do you think I'm a fool?" Phasma yelled in her face. She brought the communicator to her lips, "I know that's you, Ren. And, you'll be finding pieces of your whore on every moon from here to Corusant!" She threw the device to the floor and crushed in under her boot.

oOo

Ben swore and flung his communicator against the wall, shattering it. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair, pacing frantically in front of the controls.

Think, think, think. He squeezed his eyes shut, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thump and middle finger. _There has to be something I'm missing._

Behind him, Hux blinked, and looked around, taking a moment to remember where he was, through the fog in his head.

He brought a gloved hand up to his aching temple. "Perhaps I should have mentioned before that our plan doesn't change. No matter what I say." He shook his head slightly. "Could have saved you the trouble."

Ben stopped his pacing and buried his face in his hands. He'd underestimated Hux. And, it was going to cost him everything he was terrified of losing.

 _No. No no no no no, there has to be something. What? What am I missing?_

He felt Rey at his shields and ignored her. He needed to be alone in his thoughts if he was going to figure this out.

An alarm sounded overhead and both men looked up, their faces illuminated in red light. "Sir." The Bridge announced. "The Rebels are approaching."

Hux paled, his face turing grey, and he ran to the controls, pressing a button to bring up the visual of several ships in their proximity.

Ben sucked in a breath as he also watched the ships with wide eyes. He expected Hux to scramble the Fighters, but Hux stood mute next to him, nearly hyperventilating in panic.

"Sir." The Bridge said again. "And, we are taking heavy losses on the rebel base."

It came together so quickly that Ben could have sworn he heard a 'click'. Hux had sent the Fighters to the base, leaving the _Finalizer_ unprotected. And, what was left of their armada was being wiped out.

"How is that possible?!" Hux roared, and Ben couldn't help the smile that crept on his face.

"It appears that they knew we were coming." The bridge responded. "And have called in Allies from across the Galaxy to their aid."

 _Mom._ Ben signed.

 _Yes?_ She replied instantly, making Ben straighten in surprise. She'd heard him? They'd never been able to communicate through the Force.

 _How did you...?_

 _Later._ She said, firmly. _I'll get Rey, you get off that ship._

Ben looked to Hux, watching the other man unravel before his eyes. He was shaking, with terror or rage, Ben wasn't sure. And, all Ben could do was marvel at the fact that his mother had seen this attack coming, and had saved them.

 _ **Now** , Benjamin Luke_! His mother nearly screamed into his head.

And he broke into a sprint toward the hanger.

oOo

Phasma dragged Rey out of her rooms, the sound of blasters echoing around them, and explosions shaking the ground beneath their feet.

Rey fought her, digging her heels in, and throwing all of her weight against the other woman. They stumbled several times in the dark, empty corridor.

Phasma groaned in frustration. "Don't you understand?!" She screamed, hoisting Rey up. "If we don't get off this base, we're dead!"

Rey met her gaze. "According to you, I'm dead either way."

Phasma struck her with a clenched fist across Rey's temple and Rey fell limply to the floor, her eyes closed.

Phasma gathered her up, relieved that she could now carry her with ease, but stopped when she saw the shadow of a smaller woman standing at the end of the hall.

Phasma sighed, thinking this jedi whore wasn't worth this trouble.

The woman drew a pistol. "Put her down." She commanded, her voice frail with age, but strong enough to be heard clearly several yards away.

"Blaster bolts won't penetrate my armor." Phasma told her. "So, you'll have to do better than that puny squirt gun."

Leia stepped into the flashing emergency light, illuminating her stern face and silvering hair. "That's why I brought _him_." She said, and motioned over Phasma's shoulder.

Phasma looked up in enough time to see a blur of brown fur before her head was taken off of her shoulders with one mighty sweep.

Bright red blood sprayed, as the headless body fell to the floor with a clatter of metal armor.

Chewie bent down, and gingerly took Rey into his arms, vocalizing his worry of her condition.

"Yes," Leia agreed. "Get her to the med bay."

oOo

Ben skidded to a stop when Rey faded from his mind. _Rey_.

 _I've got her_. His mother told him, making him sigh in relief. _Are you off of the ship?_

An explosion rocked the hanger floor, throwing him from his feet, and knocking the wind out of him when he landed with a loud _thud._

He pushed himself up with his hands, getting one foot under him when a blaster bolt sailed passed his right ear, singeing his hair a bit.

 _Ben?_ His mother called when he didn't answer.

He turned his head to find Hux marching toward him, his face red with fury. "We're not finished!" Hux yelled. He took aim and fired again.

Ben lifted his hand, catching the bolt, and holding Hux as he stood.

Hux grunted as he struggled against his hold, his mind screaming "It should have been me!"

Ben got to his feet, keeping his hold on Hux. Unable to move, Hux watched him with furious blue eyes, and another blast shook the ship.

 _Ben!_

"You're right." Ben admitted, making Hux's eyes go wide. "You should have been Supreme Leader. And, more often than not, I wish you were."

Hux struggled to take in a breath and spoke. "At least...I'll die...knowing that I took...everything...from you."

Ben nodded once, and flexed his fingers, dragging Hux closer to him. "You'll die knowing that not only is Rey safe, but she is also carrying the heir of The Skywalker lineage."

Hux's nostrils flared, his face turning a bright shade of red. "You haven't taken anything from me." Ben told him as he backed toward his TIE Fighter.

He climbed in, engaging the engines and buckling his safety harness before a blast blew out most of the hanger around him.

 _BEN!_

 _oOo_

 _The_ throbbing was everywhere. In her head, on her face, in her shoulder, across her back. It hurt to breathe, to think. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking against the sting of the bright light.

She recognized the hospital room, the pale blue blankets that covered her to her chest, and the beige walls. She heard the beep of her monitors, and felt that that dreadful feeding tube was in her nose again. Then, she heard voices, muttering softly.

"Most of The First Order has been obliterated." Leia was saying. "The Finalizer fell, as well as their destroyers and most of The Fighters. Poe has taken a party and gone after the few remaining vessels."

"How did you know?" She recognized Ben's voice ask.

"Do you think I got to the rank of General by ignoring my gut?" Leia countered.

"I can't thank you enough for saving us. For everything you've done for us."

She heard Leia sigh. "I just wish I'd always been the mother I wanted to be."

Silence fell between them and Rey thought it appropriate to speak up now.

"Ben?" She called, her voice cracking.

The open door to her room swing wider and Ben came in, sighing in relief when he saw her.

Rey frowned. His face was bruised and cut in several places, as if he'd been in a vicious fist fight.

He was by her side with a few strides and knelt down next to her, reaching up to cup her cheek.

Rey noticed his knuckles were also bruised and scraped in places.

"What happened?" She asked.

"It was a trap." Ben explained. "Hux attacked the planet on the outer rim to get me to come back to the finalizer so that Phasma could get to you." He shook his head. "And, I walked right into it."

"But your mom knew?" Rey guessed, based off of her eavesdropping.

"Yes, my mom knew." He reached up and tenderly soothed her hair back. "She sent word to her allies, and they came. All of them. And, Poe followed me with the other fighters to the Finalizer and destroyed it."

"But you're ok?"

Ben smiled wide at her question. "You're ok." He put his hand on the growing swell of her abdomen. "They're ok." He leaned forward and softly kissed her lips. "I've never been better."

Rey swallowed. "What now?"

He shrugged. "I've surrendered to the Republic. Technically, I'm being held captive by General Organa until my trial, and we'll go from there."

She tried to get up. "What?" She demanded, and winced when her body and her head screamed in protest.

"My mother made it a condition that my war crimes be pardoned." He explained. His face darkened. "But that doesn't absolve me of everything I've done."

Rey laid back into her pillows and sighed, worry creasing her brow.

Ben stood and leaned over her, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then rested his forehead against hers. "It'll be ok." He promised.

oOo

The day of the trial Rey sat next to her mother in law in the crowd of people gathered to witness the trial, her hands resting on her enormous belly.

"If this gets to be too much for you." Leia started, and Rey shook her head.

"I'm seeing this through." She insisted.

Ben stood in the middle of the room, his back to them, and his hands bound in front of him. He wore a thin black tunic and slacks, with boots that laced up to his knees. His hair was longer, hanging over his shoulders.

They'd been given the last several months together, where he was able to be by her side as their twins grew in her womb. They'd also said marriage vows to each other in a private ceremony on Naboo, attended only be his mother, and a small group of friends.

Tears stung her eyes when she looked down at the ring that symbolized those vows, thinking her whole life, she'd wanted a family, and a last name, and now that she had both, the man who gave them to her could be taken from her.

Leia placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed. "It'll be ok."

If one more person told her that, she'd scream.

"Ben Amidala Skywalker Organa Solo." The Judge's voice boomed. "The war crimes of The First Order, of which you were the Supreme Leader for a short while, have been pardoned. However, you, and your alter ego Kylo Ren, stand accused of several counts of murder. How do you plead?"

Ben raised his chin. "Not guilty, your honor."

Rey broke out into a cold sweat.

The Judge hummed his understanding. "You may state your defense."

"Your honor," Ben said. "I cannot say that I did not do the things I am accused of. I did. However, I can say that while I was Kylo Ren, I was acting under the direct orders of my Supreme Leader. Someone who manipulated me from a young age. When Supreme Leader Snoke was murdered, Kylo Ren died with him, and I began working with General Organa as well as the resistance to destroy the First Order."

"And the attack on Ryloth?" The judge asked.

"As General Organa and several resistance fighters can attest, I was on the Rebel base when that happened. The attack was orchestrated by Armitage Hux, who had taken command of The First Order in my absence."

Deliberation was less than an hour.

Rey held her breath as the judge read the verdict. "This court finds the defendant, Ben Amidala Skywalker Organa Solo, not guilty by superior orders."

The crowd broke out into a mix of shock and outrage, and the judge called for order.

Ben was released of his cuffs and turned, searching for Rey in the crowd. She rushed to him, throwing her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her middle, burying his face in her neck.

Reporters were swarming around them, lights flashing as they snapped pictures for their tabloids, and their questions were a loud roar of voices trying to be heard over the others.

Ben pulled away, keeping one arm around Rey as they followed his mother out of the court room, the reporters on their heels, shouting their questions.

The three of them boarded their craft, and set course for their homes on Naboo.


	13. Epilogue

Author's note: this story contains childbirth.

If you are triggered, this is your warning.

oOo

The communicator on Leia's night stand flashed red, alerting her with a shrill ring.

She sat up, coming fully awake, and pressed the activator, though she knew who would be on the other end, and what he would say.

Ben's long face was clouded with anxious worry, his eyes wild.

"I'll be right there, Ben." She assured him. "I'm on my way."

"Hurry, please." He begged, and the link ended.

She got out of bed and threw on the clothes she'd laid out, stepping into her shoes before leaving the apartment she now called home.

When she returned to Naboo, the Queen had asked her to serve as Senator. Leia, with the First Order destroyed and democracy restored, had agreed, and moved into the housing provided.

Ben and Rey, after his trial, moved into the Amidala estate a few blocks down the way.

When she made it to the hospital, she was ushered upstairs to the maternity ward and spotted Ben seated next to a closed door. His head was in his hands, and the light glinted off the metal of his wedding ring, a sight that Leia didnt think she'd ever get used to.

He looked up when she went to him, and pulled her to him, holding her tightly as his shoulders shook.

Leia combed her fingers through his hair. "How is she?"

He sat back. "The pain started at 4 this morning, but she thought that they were Braxton hicks so she didnt wake me up until after 7 when she-" He looked up, his forehead puckered. "Lost her plug?"

She nodded, both to tell him that she understood and that he'd said it right.

He took a shaky breath. "She said that her contractions were never consistently four minutes apart, but when we got here, they checked her, and she was nearly five centimeters dialated."

Leia nodded again. "Where is she now?"

He looked at the closed door. "She's changing and I came out here to-"

"Fall apart." She finished for her son.

To his credit, Ben didn't even look offended. "Yeah." He admitted.

"Ben!" Rey yelled from inside the room and he flew up, throwing open the door and ran inside.

Rey was in a hospital gown, clutching the bed railing with white knuckled hands. She was pale and her hair was up, unruly pieces sticking out everywhere.

Ben was by her side immediately, giving her his hand to clutch, and gently reminded her to breathe.

She let out a breath and groaned in pain.

Leia stepped out of the room, giving them their privacy, and took the seat her son had emptied.

The hours dragged on, and she was dozing in her chair when Ben ran out of the room, frantically alerting the nurse that Rey had asked for the midwife.

They rushed in.

"She wants you there too, Mom." Ben panted, and Leia didnt hesitate to go to her, taking the younger womans hand and soothing her sweat dampened hair away from her forehead.

"Where's Ben?" Rey pleaded, weakly.

"I'm here." He assured her, taking her other hand.

The bed made a loud clang as the nurses disassembled it, and the midwife put her gloves on before instructing Rey to put her feet in the stirrups on either side.

Ben didnt speak, he didn't move, he barely breathed, holding his breath any time Rey pushed. Leia watched him pale, and quickly moved to stand behind him, prepared to catch him if he toppled over.

After several rounds of pushing, Rey screamed and fell back onto the bed, as the midwife held up the first twin.

"It's a boy!" She announced, smiling widely.

Ben kissed Rey's temple and rested his forehead against hers. "Its a boy." He whispered.

"Is he ok?" Rey muttered, lifting her head up to look at him.

"He's perfect!" The midwife promised, and handed him to a nearby nurse, who took the child to be cleaned and swaddled.

Rey was instructed when she needed to push again, and within minutes, the second twin was born.

"Its a girl!" The midwife told them, holding the baby up for them to see.

A nurse pulled the closures of Reys gown, and the babies were placed on the bare skin of her chest.

Leia felt Ben shake next to her and realized, through her own tears, that he was crying, bent over Rey as she cradled their twins.

"I love you." He said into her hair, kissing her again and again.

Rey looked up at him, smiling, the glow of new motherhood already blossoming on her face. "I love you."

She looked under his arm. "Leia!" She called. "Come on! Come'ere!"

Leia obeyed.

Rey looked at the boy on her right side. "This is Adriel." She announced, and looked at the girl on her left. "And, this is Andra."

An hour later, Rey had been cleaned up and put into a fresh gown, and the twins were brought to them after being weighed and measured.

Adriel weighed in at five pounds, six ounces, while his sister weighed four pounds, eleven ounces.

Both were perfectly healthy, but would be closely monitored as a routine precaution.

Ben brought food for Rey and she ate it as if it were going to disappear, as she always did, then she had fallen asleep.

"Mom," Ben called, and Leia looked up at him. "I want to hold the twins, will you help me?"

She nodded and stood, as Ben pulled his shirt off and sat in a nearby rocking chair.

Leia unwrapped the blanket around Adriel and picked him up, turned, and laid him on Ben's bare chest. She did the same with Andra, then draped a blanket over the three of them.

She stepped back, watching as her son laid a soft kiss on one tiny forehead, and then the other.

Her heart swelled so that she thought it would burst. She had nearly given up hope of ever getting to witness this moment. Thought the possibility of her son returning to her was nonexistent.

She whispered a silence prayer of thanks to the Force, as silent tears spilled down her face.

Her son, her Ben, was lost in the faces of his newborn sleeping twins, and was bathed in light.


End file.
